Fear and Clarity

I was reading a blog this morning and in it Donald Miller said the section below about Fear, especially how it relates to writing his book. This happens to me so many times and I love it when it does. 

"But something remarkable happens when you pass through the fear. About every other time, you find the zone. The zone is that place where a book seems to write itself. It’s a wonderful and magical place. A story comes to you and your fingers can’t move fast enough to catch it. Sometimes you shed a few tears as you type. You’re so grateful you punched through the fear. You’re so grateful God seems to be giving you words." 

Source: http://storylineblog.com/2013/05/02/finding-the-zone-and-punching-fear-in-the-face/

That all for today! 

~Chris Ryan~ 

Smiling under the stars

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged so I figured I’d give it a shot. Right now I am sitting in the back yard with some palm trees in front of me and the clear night sky all around. The big beautiful stars are out and are entertaining me. It’s been a long times since I have actually sat out and just gazed at the stars. I love it when it’s actually cold outside when doing so, because you just put on some heavier clothes and bundle up. I’m doing some pretty neat things with my finances in terms of paying off school debt and donating more than I have in past years. 


I’m doing really well in regards to surgery recovery; I am trying to spend more time with my dad who is doing excellent since surgery. I love him so much; it’s just hard to endure when his love language is one that I am not familiar with. He’s just a tough nut to crack, but I guess that’s just what life has given him. 


I also think I’m doing well with spiritual discipline. I always think there is room for improvement with everyone including me. For instance there are times when I am just too selfish and I use my time purely for myself. Sure that’s good every now and then, but I’m always striving to invest my time accordingly so that I may help others. I am a giver, that’s just what I am. 


There have been a lot of good changes that I have put into place and I am more outreach oriented with those around me. What makes it hard though is I have night shifts at work and it’s not very conducive with my friends and wanting to do things, especially on the weekends. I just have to prioritize them when I can because I don’t see them that much. 


Overall, I just need to remember to just live life with my eyes on Christ, and he will set my feet in the right direction.

@ Home - In pain

It's been 4 days since the transplant. I waited to take a pain pill for however long I could last. It was 8 hours and now my lower back is hurting on the side of the kidney they took. It's going to be a long week.

@ Home - Ready for Surgery Tomorrow.

The Kidney transplant surgery is tomorrow, I have some anxiety, but I think that is getting subsided by the streaming techno I am listening to :)

Plus, I think I got A’s in both my Cisco Routing and Switching classes.

And I got my hair cut short again. It's the shortest it's ever been. 

Lots of new things in my life, that's for sure.

@ Home - Corn Rows

So I figured I would get corn rows before I cut my hair off for the Kidney transplant. I don’t think I’m going to grow it out again, so I figured why not. My coworker at Starbucks, Jonilynn, took the initiative to give me the corn row treatment.  

@ Home - N' Smiling

So, much has happened since I update the ol’ blog. I have since gotten the OK from the Mayo Clinic to proceed with the transplant. I have scheduled the transplant on December 13^th 2011. Funny thing is I remember the December 13^th is my friend Katrina Coquillard’s birthday. On a side note, I was talking to my Steam friend Pink Panther and told him I wasn’t worried about the recovery. I compared it to the summer when I got hit by a car and remembered it was the best summer because I got to drink milk shakes every day because my jaw was broken. I realized that I can remember the good in a situation amidst the pain.

I’m really excited to give gifts this Christmas even though I’m not spending a whole bunch. I am however going to update my computer with some sick parts. I am also looking forward to checking out and possibly purchasing the first Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich phone, called the Galaxy Nexus on Verizon’s 4G.

This semester I am taking Cisco Routing and Switching classes to continue to work toward my CCNA certification. The finals are going to be tough, because I am going to have to take them early because of the Transplant surgery.

Wow, and with Thanksgiving being just yesterday, I realized I have so much to be thankful for. Things such as Christ, my Health, a Job, a Support system from friends and family, and the list goes on. Life is so precious because we only have a certain time. Worry should never be in the equation, even when you are in the toughest situation. All you have to do is just remember what is going to happen the next day or when you are done dealing with the issue. THAT, for me, is so comforting.

I’m done ranting now ;)

@ The Mayo Clinic - Waiting for a CT scan

Today has been a long day. I got up at 4:30am and drove to north Scottsdale (34 miles away) and have spent the whole day at the Mayo clinic getting my initial testing done for being a living kidney donor. I have met my amazing team here and they are all bright and super friendly. They have all set aside my fears of donating, and also brought up some other internal concerns. I just need to trust God with the possible concerns that came up for the first time. I have already also been stuck twice, once for over 10 vials of blood, and also for now I have a catheter in my arm for the contrast that they are going to pump me full of for my CT scan. The only issue I have with all my days at the Mayo clinic is the distance and the time at which it occurs. I know that is a selfish concern, but still it wears on my patience, time, and finances. Am I scared, of course, but will it be worth it, you becha!