Fear and Clarity

I was reading a blog this morning and in it Donald Miller said the section below about Fear, especially how it relates to writing his book. This happens to me so many times and I love it when it does. 

"But something remarkable happens when you pass through the fear. About every other time, you find the zone. The zone is that place where a book seems to write itself. It’s a wonderful and magical place. A story comes to you and your fingers can’t move fast enough to catch it. Sometimes you shed a few tears as you type. You’re so grateful you punched through the fear. You’re so grateful God seems to be giving you words." 

Source: http://storylineblog.com/2013/05/02/finding-the-zone-and-punching-fear-in-the-face/

That all for today! 

~Chris Ryan~ 

Smiling under the stars

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged so I figured I’d give it a shot. Right now I am sitting in the back yard with some palm trees in front of me and the clear night sky all around. The big beautiful stars are out and are entertaining me. It’s been a long times since I have actually sat out and just gazed at the stars. I love it when it’s actually cold outside when doing so, because you just put on some heavier clothes and bundle up. I’m doing some pretty neat things with my finances in terms of paying off school debt and donating more than I have in past years. 


I’m doing really well in regards to surgery recovery; I am trying to spend more time with my dad who is doing excellent since surgery. I love him so much; it’s just hard to endure when his love language is one that I am not familiar with. He’s just a tough nut to crack, but I guess that’s just what life has given him. 


I also think I’m doing well with spiritual discipline. I always think there is room for improvement with everyone including me. For instance there are times when I am just too selfish and I use my time purely for myself. Sure that’s good every now and then, but I’m always striving to invest my time accordingly so that I may help others. I am a giver, that’s just what I am. 


There have been a lot of good changes that I have put into place and I am more outreach oriented with those around me. What makes it hard though is I have night shifts at work and it’s not very conducive with my friends and wanting to do things, especially on the weekends. I just have to prioritize them when I can because I don’t see them that much. 


Overall, I just need to remember to just live life with my eyes on Christ, and he will set my feet in the right direction.

@ Home - In pain

It's been 4 days since the transplant. I waited to take a pain pill for however long I could last. It was 8 hours and now my lower back is hurting on the side of the kidney they took. It's going to be a long week.

@ Home - Ready for Surgery Tomorrow.

The Kidney transplant surgery is tomorrow, I have some anxiety, but I think that is getting subsided by the streaming techno I am listening to :)

Plus, I think I got A’s in both my Cisco Routing and Switching classes.

And I got my hair cut short again. It's the shortest it's ever been. 

Lots of new things in my life, that's for sure.

@ Home - Corn Rows

So I figured I would get corn rows before I cut my hair off for the Kidney transplant. I don’t think I’m going to grow it out again, so I figured why not. My coworker at Starbucks, Jonilynn, took the initiative to give me the corn row treatment.  

@ Home - N' Smiling

So, much has happened since I update the ol’ blog. I have since gotten the OK from the Mayo Clinic to proceed with the transplant. I have scheduled the transplant on December 13^th 2011. Funny thing is I remember the December 13^th is my friend Katrina Coquillard’s birthday. On a side note, I was talking to my Steam friend Pink Panther and told him I wasn’t worried about the recovery. I compared it to the summer when I got hit by a car and remembered it was the best summer because I got to drink milk shakes every day because my jaw was broken. I realized that I can remember the good in a situation amidst the pain.

I’m really excited to give gifts this Christmas even though I’m not spending a whole bunch. I am however going to update my computer with some sick parts. I am also looking forward to checking out and possibly purchasing the first Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich phone, called the Galaxy Nexus on Verizon’s 4G.

This semester I am taking Cisco Routing and Switching classes to continue to work toward my CCNA certification. The finals are going to be tough, because I am going to have to take them early because of the Transplant surgery.

Wow, and with Thanksgiving being just yesterday, I realized I have so much to be thankful for. Things such as Christ, my Health, a Job, a Support system from friends and family, and the list goes on. Life is so precious because we only have a certain time. Worry should never be in the equation, even when you are in the toughest situation. All you have to do is just remember what is going to happen the next day or when you are done dealing with the issue. THAT, for me, is so comforting.

I’m done ranting now ;)

@ The Mayo Clinic - Waiting for a CT scan

Today has been a long day. I got up at 4:30am and drove to north Scottsdale (34 miles away) and have spent the whole day at the Mayo clinic getting my initial testing done for being a living kidney donor. I have met my amazing team here and they are all bright and super friendly. They have all set aside my fears of donating, and also brought up some other internal concerns. I just need to trust God with the possible concerns that came up for the first time. I have already also been stuck twice, once for over 10 vials of blood, and also for now I have a catheter in my arm for the contrast that they are going to pump me full of for my CT scan. The only issue I have with all my days at the Mayo clinic is the distance and the time at which it occurs. I know that is a selfish concern, but still it wears on my patience, time, and finances. Am I scared, of course, but will it be worth it, you becha!

Ready to Shred! Are you?

So last time I was on the slopes shredding it up (not like this)

<---- but like this:

something happened to one of my highback side bolts :(

Well I finally took the initiative to investigate my broken snowboard binding further. I went to Home Depot, Lowes and even 2 different snowboard shops, and nobody could tell me where to get the piece. I finally found what the piece was called, it was a T-Nut and usually used for wood, but Burton used a special version in my bindings a long time ago. I went to one place and they didn’t have one small enough to fit in the hole, so they suggested going to ACE Hardware. I went there and found a circular one that fit, so I just figured that I would file the sides down and it would be perfect. So I did that and here’s how it turned out: 

Now I’m back in the game! So is this a creative or crude fix?

@ Home Goods - Checking stuff out

I was walking around in the store and stopped by the pet section and found this little beauty. For the life of me I cannot figure out how a dog bowl and Jersey Shore are related.

I mean if it said Ohhh Yea, Water Yea! It would make more sense because Pauly D would say something like that. Really it’s the silliest thing I have seen in a while.

@ Springfield-Branson National Airport - Allegiant Flight Catastrophe

So funny story, I was late to the Springfield, MO airport because Tyler Coquillard and I were running late and also got some lunch on the way. I was about 5 minutes late getting to the front check-in so Allegiant didn’t hold the plane for me, even though the plane was still connected to the terminal. I was livid at Allegiant because the next flight was Thursday, I had work on Wednesday and they said I had to forfeit my seat with no transferability.


I called Tyler back and he came and hung out with me to try to find an alternative way home. I called my mom because she was going to pick me up at the airport in Mesa, AZ. She was trying to find me flights to get there before Wednesday so that I could work on time. I started calling friends that might be driving back to Arizona, so I could help them with their road trip to keep costs down. Martin Russo was the kindest and said we could probably work something out. I was also on the phone with Allegiant Customer support and the lady said that there was nothing they were going to do to help me out. This was the first time I took Allegiant AND now the last time.


Tyler and I started back to the car to get back home and figure things out, because he’s a stud like that. I then got in the car and received a call from the Springfield airport and the lady asked if I was still there at the airport. She explained that it was my lucky day and that I the plain was coming back for maintenance and that I could come back and board. I thanked Tyler for his awesomeness and sprinted back to front, to check in. I ended up talking with the lady that just called me and she said that she had called several times. I was very lucky, so I ran through security and got to the gate and boarded the plane in the front where there was an open seat. We all sat there for about 30 minutes and they said they were still working on the plane, but had to let us off (with our luggage).


Now I am sitting in the nice air conditioned airport gate while they are fixing the plane. They don’t offer free beverages during flight, but they are offering free sodas right now. Although I have no reason to complain, I am complaining on behalf of all the other passengers that were on time. A gentleman next to me said that he has flown Allegiant a few times and every time he leaves from the Springfield airport he has encountered delays. The last one he said was a 3 hour delay. Another gentleman next to me said that this was his first time using Allegiant, and it was because of the cost (which was my primary reason), and agreed with me that you get what you pay for. Who knows how long this will take. I guess the reason I am writing this is to ask if anyone else has had a similar flying experience???


~Chris Ryan~

On the light rail - digressing from a long day

I always find myself letting out a nice big sigh when I get on the light rail. It's the rides home where you contemplate how things are going, and I'm doing so right now. Work and school is tough, but I am learning a bunch of useful stuff. Well it's the end of the ride for me :)

@ Home - with new hope

There is a new hope that a Kidney donation to my dad will become reality. It is stage 1 in the coming, but it still brings hope. Basically my dad was contacted by the local Mayo clinic about Kidney stuff, so we'll see where this goes. But here is to hoping

@ Home - Digressing from a long day

Two important things happened today. I worked and it was the most memorable day today because my coworker Jonilynn and I had a laughing fit for about 10 minutes straight. We literally couldn't stop laughing long enough to take an order or call out the drink that we just made. It started by myself seeing Jonni lean forward and ask a guest if they wanted Whip on their drink; she didn't just ask, she yelled. I kept making the drinks that were in line and I thought to myself "I think she just yelled at that lady.... hmmm... I'm going to ask her if she just did what I thought she did." So I asked her and she said "no," then a short pause, and she busts up laughing. I immediately start laughing hysterically because she is laughing. We are laughing so hard we go into silent mode, and then she tries to tell me, whilst still laughing, "Stop it or I’m going to pee." LOL. Oh well, it continues further for another 10 minutes while we joke about it and we can't even keep a straight face... I felt really bad because it felt unprofessional, but I really could not stop laughing so hard. It was a great memorable day at work.


The second thing was my Grandma Ryan died today, and I found out from one of my cousin status’ on Facebook. I also found out before my dad knew... it was his mom. Albeit my uncle tried to call him and he wasn't home, so it really wasn't my uncles fault... but still it just rubbed me so wrongly.


Wow, today was a long day. It was a day full of laughter and good times, yet also a hugely sad one as well.

@ Home - After work

At work today there was a lady that I met named Stormy. That is the coolest girl name I have ever heard of. That is all.

@ Home - Grinning

So I am grinning because at work today, apparently two ladies thought I was really cute. They didn't say it to my face, but one of the ladies that worked with me was in line to buy something and she overheard the two ladies behind her say that I was really cute. I just shake my head because I think it's funny.

Today Drew and I took another set of brotherly photos together. So we are going to use those as Christmas gifts this year.

It is so hard to find the time to look for an IT job when you are working about 40 hours a week. I will request that my hours come down soon here so I can take a stinkin break.

Otherwise I'm just living my new life

@ Home - Listening to what is next

This past week has been a long one for my family. Monday I had a repeat EKG and met the surgeon who was going to be performing the surgery. Tuesday my dad met with a whole group of people involved and things didn't go well. Wednesday everything was put on hold because of the meetings that my dad had. Finally Thursday, everything was officially put on hold and everything was canceled until my dad satisfied Banner's wishes. Friday my dad sent a nasty letter to the people at Banner that burned every bridge for possibly having surgery in the future. I am so at a loss for words, I have no idea what to do. Barb Marshall told me on Sunday that all these complications were supposed to happen, and the surgery isn't supposed to happen right now, if at all. I was so frustrated with this sound of that, but it is something that I needed to hear. So it is official, the surgery is off and may not even happen.

@ Home - Thinking about a career

Tonight after I went running with my brother, I laid out in the back yard to cool off. I starred up at the sky and thought about my future, then I remembered my coursework and what I liked. I took some Geographic Information Systems classes and liked them so much that I got A's in the classes. I then thought I might need to find a niche market to go toward in the computer field. I am now going to start looking for jobs within this field to see if that Is where I can get my foot in the door. ESRI is the leading GIS software company and I have experience using their products, which I enjoyed using. I will see if I am a fit to the company :)

@ Home - Life insurance & Surgery Date

I finally got life insurance. Everything worked out better than expected and I got the Super Preferred rate so my monthly payment is well below what I was expecting. Praise God

My dad and I also scheduled the surgery date for December 1st. Everything came together really quickly that day with planning the final tests and meeting dates. We'll see what happens from here.

@ Home - Review and Updates

eBay Case Search Term: White Softgrip TPU Gel Skin Cover Case Motorola Droid X




Otherwise I am doing pretty well waiting for this Kidney surgery to happen. My dad has been getting better with his lack of Alcohol consumptions, and I am trying to get health insurance. The magic number that my dad is trying to achieve for a surgery date is November 14th. So that is fine, I guess, I just wish it was sooner. But I can't really get insurance before that, so it works out. I'll update this more often from now on... hopefully. And also I am going to visit my fabulous friends in Missouri and Oklahoma from October 19-28th, I'm so excited.

@ Home - Citicard Fail!

This was my bill that I got this month, and I looked at it and laughed. I posed the issue on facebook and asked people what I should do. Should I pay it or what?

Many told me to call Citicard and ask that they drop the charge. So I proceeded to do that this morning. When I called I talked with a guy (i think... he was very soft spoken kinda like Michael Jackson) named Ron and he heard that I wanted to see if the company would drop the charge. He put me on hold for 3 minutes and told me their proposed solution. It was to call back on the day the payment was due 10/13/2010 and ask that the balance get transferred to the next month. I told him the ONLY problem with that is that if I forget to call that day then I would be incurring a whole ton of charges and possible dent on credit score and such. I told him I didn't mind paying it, I just didn't want to send a check for $.01 and put a $0.44 stamp on there to send it to them. So he told me I could pay it with my debit card and that he would transfer me to a specialist to pay the amount over the phone. I agreed and when he transferred me to the lady Ebony she told me that she'd be happy to take care of the payment over the phone. When Ron hung up after the transfer, I laughed and asked if she saw the balance in front of her to which she laughed and said yes. I told her that I just called to see if they would drop it and it be done with. She said "I can't believe they didn't drop the balance" and I told her the solution the proposed to me and she laughed again and confirmed how stupid that sounded. (I could tell at this point she was ashamed of the company she was working for and apologized profusely. She then told me she wasn't sure the one cent would go through with the debit card but offered to try. I gave her the numbers and she said it went through, so I thanked her and hung up the phone thinking "that just happened." Citicard is awesome at some things, but absolutely ridiculous at other things. 

Citicard Fail!