Giving

If there is something that I have learned over the past week it is give what you have. I have so much going for me. I mean I have a bachelors degree that nobody can take away from me, I have computer knowledge that nobody but God can take away from me, I have lots of stuff that I used every day, and also stuff that I hardly use. So the point is that I have stuff, sure everybody has stuff; some nicer and some worse. So when I was at church a week ago, I got emotional about the message. Our duty as Christians is to give. And I even remember when I was in the Hayden Library nevertheless, working on class work, and a high school-ish looking kid came up to me and asked if I wanted to donate for some missions that they were doing. My first hesitation was certainly no, but I remember something in the back of my mind said “Give!” He asked for a donation of like $100 and I said that I didn’t have that much because I was an intern at a church and didn’t make much. But I did say something that stuck with me even today and last week at church. I said to him “What I have, I give!” and that struck me not at the time when I was filling out the credit card donation, but in the moments after when I thought about what I did.

I am really really... really fortunate to be where I am, even when I think I am perfect, someone like a kid this afternoon said “Hey there is something wrong with your nose!” I politely told him “Hey, it’s ok because I was born with it.” There is always someone who can put you in your place, often times it’s someone who truly cares about you, or who you have opened up a huge amount to and trust your vulnerability to. God put me in my place by allowing me to have compassion and be motivated, and “Joyful” to give. It’s such an unexplainable feeling to feel joyfulness to give. It’s something that I don’t often feel when giving a tithe and offering, but in the refocusing moment at church when I decided to go to Walmart and give my part in feeding the homeless, it was there.

No don’t just say “hat’s off to Chris, because he did something that I don’t even do” just realize that what you give matters, to God mostly, but possibly even to the person who is in need. I sure hope when I read this later in my life I can remember what was going on in my life, because it is a very uncomfortable time in my life, to change everything. I am still struggling with being outgoing, or to even make new friends, or to continue to nurture friendships here. I am constantly denied, put in my place, or yelled at; which hurts, but I always need to move away from it with some positive light. I am growing, changing, emotionalizing, learning, and continuing to pour myself out to those around me.

It’s even interesting to think that recently I have been praying for God to use me in unique ways during the day. To use my computer helping ability for those in need, to use my funny voices for laughter, to use my crazy personality to inspire, or to be a role model. I really feel that one of my major roles in life is to be a role model for those around me. It is something that God has put on my heart for the younger kids, and for those my own age. Let’s just say for those who knew me when I was younger, such as my brother, family, older friends, even Trevor, I hope they see the transformation I have felt in my life.

Just as a side note, Mark Moore preached today at CCO, and this week coming up is about healing the sick. I learned that the word for heal in the Greek is the word “sozo” which was interesting when I heard it. Sozo means to heal, cure, to make well or to renew. I thought of where I heard that word, and realized that I listen to some songs by a Christian DJ named Sozo. So now it all makes sense. So after church today, I bought some diapers and baby wipes, and various household medical things for next week’s donations to help heal those who are sick and in need.