Home - Going to bed crushed

I just watched 2 people break up in a show that I watch (Royal Pains) and for some reason it hit home to me especially hard. They were thinking it could be viewed as a summer fling and such, and for the past 3 years I have had that same exact experience. This year I told myself that I am not going to date during the summer, because right when school starts it's a whole different story. It just reminds me of the confusion that always hit me when the relationship never continued. It's saddening how much effort I put into each, yet the future return isn't what it seemed it could be. I just don't know how I feel about relationships now, they just seem so ridiculous; of course it's much different when you are in one. I prayed for my future wife this morning, but I'm not sure I will even notice her. Hmm