Speaking at Church today

Today has been an all over day for me. It has been one of the greatest times I have ever spoke and it has been a butt kicker in other aspects.

Today I gave a 5 minute testimony about the power of the Word of God. I told the kids that I wasn’t raised Christian, and I remember reading the Word of God when I got a Bible. I was reading Proverbs and was told by another Christian at the Bible study that he thought it was really cool that I was reading the Bible more than them. I always had this passion for knowing more of God’s Word. I went to college at ASU for computer stuff and still wanted to know more. So after ASU I went to Ozark to spend time learning more about God’s Word. The verses that we were talking about were Matthew 7:24-27 and how the foolish man builds his house on the sand but the wise man builds his house on the rock. I told the kids that I didn’t have that foundation growing up that they were getting, so that’s why I was going to Ozark, was to get something that I missed growing up. Just before I finished I told the kids that I thought they were the luckiest kids on earth, because they get this biblical foundation now, before they are all grown up and to not take God’s Word for granted.

At the 10:45am service a lady came up to me and smiled and thanked me for speaking. She said that it was exactly what she has been dealing with and that I nailed it right on the head for her. This was also the same lady that Angela came up to me and asked me if I knew what her name was, because neither of us has seen her there before. She was sitting in the back with a younger kid, which was presumably her 4th-6th grade son, and came up after I passed by her. It was probably the neatest thing I have experienced when I spoke.

But what rips something like this comment down to nothing?

When I see people who are doing what I would like to end up doing later in life, but they are doing it at a younger age. I get jealous and almost want to start growing up quickly. I just need to learn to let life take me where I need to be. Sure it’s alright to be mature and start taking responsibility and initiative. But as my brother said either extreme is bad, and that the middle ground is usually the best option. I just have dreams that die hard, and I strive to make them a reality, but stuff interferes.

Ozark - Semester End

This semester has been fun, challenging, and just time that I spent finding myself amidst life. I certainly think I have achieved that, even though the finding myself is not done yet. I learned a lot my first semester and am excited to go back to learn even more.

Some things I have learned this semester is the difference between being rude and being assertive, and how to be assertive.

I learned that some are there at Ozark to get their MRS and some are there to study.

I learned how conservative people can be in the US, and now know that I am not conservative compared to them.

I learned the value of my parents and close friends, and how irreplaceable they are.

I learned how extremely shy I can be when amidst people I don’t know.

I learned that people can be totally different in situations where they are away from their home. Or maybe it’s just that I spent so much time with them that I saw a different side of them, maybe a more responsible side.

Overall I learned a whole ton, and am glad the semester is over, so I can be with those whom I call close friends and party it up awaiting for next semester in Arizona.

Ozark - Skip Day

Today was skip day at Ozark, it’s a day where all the students skip class, so actually no classes are held. I had planned on going fishing with my friend Lacy, her friends and her family. I was so excited to go because I haven’t been fishing in forever. It ended up being stormy on Wednesday and Thursday (skip day) so we didn’t end up doing that.

Instead I figured I would go to Lito’s BBQ that he invited me to at his apartment. It was great, because it was just a close group of us, and the cheeseburgers were the best homemade I have ever had. Lito is a great cook. I invited Lacy to come along because the fishing thing didn’t work out, so we went from 12-2:30 and just hung out over there talking to everyone and just have a good time. So then we had planned to go to her house with her friend JD and watch Smallville and The Office. It was great idea because I wanted to meet her parents, because they were the ones who encouraged me enough to try and fix their laptop (which I did do successfully). Her parents ordered pizza there, and we also had salad. Then we watched a little of the Bulls vs. Celtics championship game which the Bulls ended up winning in triple overtime. Later we had ice cream and cake, which was awesome and then we left shortly thereafter. It was a great time hanging out with Lacy, getting to know my friends’ parents and having fun on Skip Day. It was really strange, but I thought it would be really weird eating dinner with a new family. It generally is for me and that kind of stuff, but Lacy’s parents have a sense of humor against her in a way, so it was kinda fun to poke fun along with them. It really made me feel pretty welcome into their family. Today was a good day!

Giving

If there is something that I have learned over the past week it is give what you have. I have so much going for me. I mean I have a bachelors degree that nobody can take away from me, I have computer knowledge that nobody but God can take away from me, I have lots of stuff that I used every day, and also stuff that I hardly use. So the point is that I have stuff, sure everybody has stuff; some nicer and some worse. So when I was at church a week ago, I got emotional about the message. Our duty as Christians is to give. And I even remember when I was in the Hayden Library nevertheless, working on class work, and a high school-ish looking kid came up to me and asked if I wanted to donate for some missions that they were doing. My first hesitation was certainly no, but I remember something in the back of my mind said “Give!” He asked for a donation of like $100 and I said that I didn’t have that much because I was an intern at a church and didn’t make much. But I did say something that stuck with me even today and last week at church. I said to him “What I have, I give!” and that struck me not at the time when I was filling out the credit card donation, but in the moments after when I thought about what I did.

I am really really... really fortunate to be where I am, even when I think I am perfect, someone like a kid this afternoon said “Hey there is something wrong with your nose!” I politely told him “Hey, it’s ok because I was born with it.” There is always someone who can put you in your place, often times it’s someone who truly cares about you, or who you have opened up a huge amount to and trust your vulnerability to. God put me in my place by allowing me to have compassion and be motivated, and “Joyful” to give. It’s such an unexplainable feeling to feel joyfulness to give. It’s something that I don’t often feel when giving a tithe and offering, but in the refocusing moment at church when I decided to go to Walmart and give my part in feeding the homeless, it was there.

No don’t just say “hat’s off to Chris, because he did something that I don’t even do” just realize that what you give matters, to God mostly, but possibly even to the person who is in need. I sure hope when I read this later in my life I can remember what was going on in my life, because it is a very uncomfortable time in my life, to change everything. I am still struggling with being outgoing, or to even make new friends, or to continue to nurture friendships here. I am constantly denied, put in my place, or yelled at; which hurts, but I always need to move away from it with some positive light. I am growing, changing, emotionalizing, learning, and continuing to pour myself out to those around me.

It’s even interesting to think that recently I have been praying for God to use me in unique ways during the day. To use my computer helping ability for those in need, to use my funny voices for laughter, to use my crazy personality to inspire, or to be a role model. I really feel that one of my major roles in life is to be a role model for those around me. It is something that God has put on my heart for the younger kids, and for those my own age. Let’s just say for those who knew me when I was younger, such as my brother, family, older friends, even Trevor, I hope they see the transformation I have felt in my life.

Just as a side note, Mark Moore preached today at CCO, and this week coming up is about healing the sick. I learned that the word for heal in the Greek is the word “sozo” which was interesting when I heard it. Sozo means to heal, cure, to make well or to renew. I thought of where I heard that word, and realized that I listen to some songs by a Christian DJ named Sozo. So now it all makes sense. So after church today, I bought some diapers and baby wipes, and various household medical things for next week’s donations to help heal those who are sick and in need.

Spook Light

Tonight, instead of playing Star Wars, a bunch of us went out to go see the spook light. We were there and we passed the + on the road, where it is said to be seen. But then we're not sure so we keep going along. We see spray painting on the ground, meanwhile Lito says that he read on the website that there is writing talking about the spook light. So I quickly go in reverse and there it was, I laughed a loud as I read it. It said "I Love..." and had a penis with testicales drawn right next to it, and everybody in the car just starts dying laughing. We didn't see the spook light, but that made the night all better.

We then picked up Charlie and went for some IHOP. While we were there the waitress was really strange, she sat down and was putting her elbows on the table where Charlie and Greg were sitting to take our order. Then she started making fun of all of us, not like a little bit, but like calling Keenan short, calling Charlie red and such. It got really quiet after that point and especially when she found out Lito was a minister. Lito defiantly says it like it is when he notices that whenever people find that out, the conversation is dead. Ahh man what a great night. I'm glad I have friends like these.

Spring Break

Spring Break has passed and rest has occurred. I did some productive things during break, and some neat things, but it is now coming to a halt. I'm excited even to go to Church with Trevor today at Kingsway. I guess the most eventful thing I did over break was go golfing yesterday with Trevor and Kevin. It was a 9 hole course and I got a 56. It was a lot of fun, but it seemed like I was drained of all my energy at around the 6th hole, so I was moping around after that.

I went to Springfield twice during break and that was sorta fun. It is a long distance for an in-stock Best Buy or a Chipotle, but it was eventful both times. When I went to the Best Buy, I drove by myself and made calls to those that I loved. I only ended up talking to my parents, they were the only ones that picked up; which i'm totally alright with anyway. 

On St. Patrick's Day, I ended up fixing a laptop that I was most certainly scared of. I have not done a lot with laptops, and it was a very intrusive fix to replace the hinges of ones laptop. But with the encouragement of the my friend Lacy and her family, I did it, with no hiccups. I also had time to reformat the hard drive using the Compaq recovery system; which i now enjoy now that i know how to use.

I hope to go paintballing sometime soon, Trevor said that Lito will want to go before the semester ends. I told Lacy she also needs to come because I want to whoop up on her :)

Break was fun, it would have been more fun if A) I wasn't sick and B) I was able to sleep in Keenan's room the entire break. Lito's couch, although roomy, just wasn't a good place to get sleep longer than 6 hours. 

Oh yea and I learned one more thing during break, Cats Smell!

Furious at Missouri

I am just extremely furious right now with the Bio Life plasma donation place. They refused me because my License says Chris D Ryan whereas my Social Security Card says Christopher Dolan Ryan. Since it is not matching they won't let me give. I never once had a problem with this in Arizona when getting a job. It might be because I am out of state, but otherwise it may just be a fluke. I know that they might think that I am giving false records, but I am not. Arizona Department of Transportation won't let me change the name on my card unless I am there in person, obviously I am not so I can't get it changed. I don't know how to get a job down here if this will be the case with all places. 

I am just so distressed with this because I was banking on this to satisfy my small need for money, while I am here for school. It really may just be a trust issue with God, but I don't know why this is working me up so much. I honestly feel like I could just punch through a wall. I don't believe I have ever had a desire to let out so much energy in a destructive manner such as that.