Tyler Rice called me 2 nights ago while i was going to run some laps in the MPB. It was good talking with him and hearing updates with his Nursing program search and just life.
Yesterday it was so cold in the morning that it was actually snowing. I went down to the lobby to do my quiet time and saw flakes of what looked like snow falling from the sky; amidst the orange light outside. I looked around outside and it was certainly snowing. It wasn’t sticking, but snowing nonetheless.
Yesterday night I ended up going with Trevor to pick up some King’s Way kids and go back to Ozark and watch the basketball team get beat up. It was fun because i learned some basketball terms that i have never known before and such.
Fitting in is still a challenge and i’m not helping that by screwing things up. Everybody around me is finding out that their classmates just got engaged and such. It’s just a weird environment for the single and not looking. And although I am not looking, what bugs me the most about myself is that i am constantly wondering, and yearning for someone. Yes i can see myself being single till I am 40 (Namely a 40 year old virgin), but I just wonder why God gave me this love and compassion for kids. I mean doesn’t he want me to get married and have some little tikes of my own? I cannot be focused on this because then it will consume me.
I had my first memory work test yesterday in OT and it went great. I didn’t know it was fill in the blank so i memorized the whole verse, and probably spent way to much time doing so.
I now think my pride has a lot to do with why i might not be fitting in. I just don’t want to do certain things, and so I see it myself as being prideful. If i need to fit in, i need to go where the wind takes me. I can’t pick and choose everything i do, just because it’s comfortable. It’s just not natural to me, just like corn syrup.
I’ll see how the weekend plays out, because my roommate is going to be in Springfield and there are some other guys from the floor , out for the weekend.
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